Trying Not To Love You
by SarahMarie4321
Summary: What do you do when the one who broke your heart is the only one who can fix it? Paul is wondering when out of nowhere Stephanie, the love of his life, suddenly breaks up with him and without reason. As Paul is going through the motions trying to figure out why Stephanie left him, Stephanie is hiding a secret that just might make her lose him forever. Neither wants to end it.
1. Loss

Paul sat on his hotel bed with his hand on his forehead about to break. Stephanie had just broken up with him and he couldn't get her out of his head. His heart was shredded and felt like it had a million knifes stabbed into it. Her voice went through his head. Making his heart skip beats."Paul, it's over between us, I just can't do this anymore. You're worthless, you mean nothing to me and you never did. I was a fool to ever love someone like you".

"But I love you, Stephanie. That's all I ever wanted to tell you. I'm nothing now. Not without you." He whispered to himself as a tear went down his face.

Tears turned into streams as he thought of all of their goofy memories. Her soft touch, her scent still lingering on his clothes. "Please god please make me forget so I can't hurt anymore. I'm trying so hard but I just can't." He said with a quivering voice.

If only he only knew what was going on with her. This was all of a sudden. He thought everything was great and he was deeply in love with her. "I gave you my heart and you just stomp on it. But i'll always love her and i'll just have to wait for her to feel the same." Paul thought.

"She means more to me than any other person. She is everything I think about, everything I need, Everything I want!" He said as tears still went down his face.

What do you do when the one who broke your heart is the only one who can fix it? It was tough enough to see her but then with their story line. God that was going to break him even more. He bawled all night and couldn't sleep because every dream had her in it. His alarm went off and he slammed the snooze button. He rubbed his swollen eyes and got ready for one of the most painful days of his life.

* * *

Stephanie was miserable. If he only knew why this had to happen. Her dad had forced her. It was either break up with him or he would be fired and Vince would make sure he never got a job anywhere for the rest of his life. Paul didn't have any family to help him and she couldn't bare to see him on the street. Vince absolutely hated him for some odd reason. Stephanie couldn't help him either because its "McMahon Family Money". She went into character and called him and was the meanest you could ever see her. She broke down crying immediately after she hanged up. Her father was too controlling. Only she knew something that would make Vince have a heart attack and Paul want her even more.

She went up to her bed room and bawled.


	2. Begin Again

Two and a half weeks later, Paul had to drive to Raw and then had to actually talk to Stephanie about their storyline. Just thinking about it made him cringe. He hadn't even spoken to her and he had so many questions but he didn't know whether or not he could actually ask them. When he got there, the first person he saw was Stephanie. It struck him and it stuck him hard. She looked like she was happy. She was smiling and he was melting inside. He couldn't take it. He passed by her immediately and went to his locker room. Meanwhile Stephanie had flipped the switch and was in character. When she saw Paul she wanted to tell him everything! She saw the look on his face and it killed her. She didn't know if she could handle going to talk with him or if her father would catch her. She still had to make things right again. She followed him quietly. A tear went down his face. "She's smiling like it doesn't even hurt. She is laughing like nothing happened. When my world has crashed. When I can't get her out of my head. Maybe I loved her too much and that's what drove her away." Paul said.

Stephanie had her ear to the door and heard exactly what he had said. She wanted to bawl. She suddenly heard footsteps. She saw a face that she was dreading to see. Vince was coming. She walked away from the door and then tried to hide. Vince didn't even notice her. As soon as he turned the corner, she darted into Paul's locker room. Paul looked up at her angelic face and his heart ached. "Hi." Stephanie said.

"You walk in here and all you say is HI!? What you did to me has tore me to shreds and all you say is HI!? " Paul said annoyed.

"Paul, I..." Stephanie started to say.

"I miss you... But i'm trying not to...Without you the world will still turn, the sun will still rise, the moon will still set but I will never be the same. You see you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars. Just because the real world will remain the same, that doesn't mean mine has crashed and fallen apart and that day I died when you were in the middle of your sentence. I think of you constantly, I can't deny the fact that each time my mind wanders it always finds a way back to you and it kills me everytime, Because no matter what I'd still choose you every time! I sit here and I think about how much I love you, your eyes, your hair, your voice, your beautiful smile, your body, your mind, your soul, your laugh, your heart, all the things you say, all the things that you do, everything from the very tips of your toes to the very top of your head. I am in love with every aspect of you. Even the parts you have grown to hate. I've seen you at your worst and I still think you're the best. It hurts when you have someone in your heart but you can't have them in your arms! You could push me off of a cliff and I would hit the ground apologizing for standing to close to the edge. I would do ANYTHING FOR YOU! All you did was rip my heart out. All you did was hurt me." Paul said with tears streaming down his face.

Stephanie started to bawl. "NO. NO. NO, Paul" She said as she ran to hug him.

Paul shrugged her off. "You don't even know, Paul. You don't even know!" She said.

"Know what! That you never even cared for me, That you never loved me, or that all you wanted me for was a replacement. Because I already know that!" Paul said.

"I've always cared for YOU! I've always loved YOU! YOU"RE NOT A REPLACEMENT!" Stephanie said.

"THEN WHAT AM I!?" Paul half shouted.

"The love of my life!" Stephanie said.

"THEN WHAT WAS THAT CALL FOR! JUST FOR FUN!?" Paul said pissed!

"Because I care about you. Because Vince made me. Because he would make you never get a job. Because I would hate to see you starving and I could do NOTHING about it. Because I love you! I still want you but I don't know about my father! I want to make this work but I don't know." Stephanie said.

Paul stood dumbfounded. "Oh my god." Paul said.

Paul immediately hugged her. His hands wrapped around her as tightly as he could. He felt something and jumped back immediately. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!" Paul exclaimed.

Stephanie giggled. She grabbed his hand and placed it on her stomach. "You're not telling me this right now." Paul said.

"Yes, Yes I am." Stephanie said.

Paul smiled and kissed her with his hand still on her stomach. "How far are you!?" Paul asked.

"Four and a half months." Stephanie responded with a smile.

"How long have you've known?!" Paul asked.

"Ever since my dad forced me to end this." Stephanie said sadly.

Paul lifted her chin up with one finger and looked her in the eyes. "One day I'll wake up at three in the morning. I won't be alone, I won't text you or call you, i won't miss you, or want to cry. Because one day when I wake up at three in the morning, you'll be laying next to me and not far way. We can make this work! We just got to hide." Paul said reassuring her.

Paul softly kissed her forehead and then kissed her stomach and she smiled. "We'll work out all in the end because its meant to be!" Paul said.


	3. Us Against The World

Paul steered clear of Vince. One, he really waned to punch him and tell him to shove it and two, he didn't want to cause drama or have vince asking him questions about stuff that will make him blow his top. He met up with some of the guys in the back and instant heard them talking about him and Stephanie. They instantly shut up when they saw him. "Hey, Paul. What's going on buddy?" Billy said.

They literally had the nerve to act if he didn't hear anything. Paul decided to play it cool and act if Stephanie and him were still not together. "Seriously, I don't know what i'm doing with my life without her." He responded.

"What are you going to do. You can't live with them and you can't live without them. Besides Stephanie isn't worth anything." Billy said.

Paul fought with himself to not say anything. A scowl was on Pauls face. "What's the matter with you." Billy said.

"You just don't get it." Paul said.

"What don't I get. Stephanie is a cold-hearted bitch and she is nothing but trash on the side of the road." Billy said.

"She's far from that!" Paul said.

"Yes she is and you know it!" Billy said.

"NO! She is my world and now my world has stopped turning. You don't know her. Not even a drop. She is the most caring, kind, sweet, and beautiful person i've ever met. So excuse me if I take offence to what you said." Paul lightly screamed.

Paul turned around and was stunned to see a smiling Stephanie. Paul couldn't help be smile back. Lucky no one caught them. Paul stormed off and walked right passed Stephanie. He lightly tugged on her shirt, making her follow. As they exited the door Paul looked around and saw no one. "Thank god you came when you did or else I would have punched that punk! How much did you hear?" Paul said.

"I heard enough. Thanks for defending me!" Stephanie said as she gave him a kiss.

"What happened to being discreet?" Paul asked.

"Well I think you deserve something for your effort and sweetness." Stephanie said smiling at him.

He pulled her close and smiled as he looked into her eyes and got lost in them. All he could think about was her, them, and their future even though Vince could interfere with that but he didn't care. He was mesmerized by her beauty as he always was. He brushed her cheek with his hand ever so softly as she beamed at him. His other hand traveled to her stomach and brushed it with the back of his hand. "You and this little one are my life now. Don't forget that." Paul said smiling.

Stephanie smiled. "But I want to take things a little slow now. I don't want to get as close to you as I did before only to have you ripped away again. God I don't know what I'll do if that happens again!" Paul said softly, trying not to think about it.

"Paul, look at me. You'll never lose me ever again. Or our baby! I WILL make sure of that!" She said.

"But you're not sure of that Steph! You just don't get it! And... and you never will!" He said choking up.

"What don't I get Paul! That I was ripped away, that I was forced to end it, that I love you with all my very existence! Because I was hurt too, okay! This isn't only on one side! I know what you feel! And I never want us to feel like that again!" She said crying.

Paul pulled her into a hug and she shrugged him off. "Steph, I still love you! It's just I can't bare the thought of us getting caught and then being ripped apart. How many times do I have to say it. I'll still be there for you and our child! I still want you. Steph, i'm trying to do what's best for us." He said.

"What's best for us is to be together and be a strong couple. Not one of those couples who barely talk or ones that aren't a working couple. I just need you to be close to me. I need you to support me and not give a fuck about my dad. Who am I going to talk to until the sun comes up? Who am I going to lean on when you're not there? Who am I going to run to when I need someone to make me happy? But more importantly who am I going run to when I have no one to help with this baby? I believe that we belong together Paul! I just don't think that you do!" She said with tears in her eyes.

"I have to worry about him. I have to worry about how I'm going to support you and our child! All I need is you but all I'm asking is to take it slow. But slow doesn't mean that I won't come to your aid at anytime or any place. Or be there to comfort you with your apparent mood swings." He said.

Stephanie got a little angry. "These aren't mood swings Paul! Now you're the one who doesn't get it!" She said as she stormed off.

Paul chased after her. He grabbed her arm and she jerked around and faced him. "Okay, their not mood swings. Just little changes in moods. I'm sorry, okay. Some days I just don't know how to take you. I don't really want to make you mad. I love your beautiful smile and your gorgeous ocean blue eyes. I can easily get lost in them and every time you smile, I melt a little inside. Now you can see why I can't get so close. It killed me to see you. It will only kill me more if I can't see every thing that I love about you ever again." He said.

"You can stop sucking up now." She said.

"Whatever do you mean." He said cocky.

Stephanie playfully slapped him. "Shut up. You're such an idiot." She said.

"But I'm your idiot." He said.

Stephanie nodded her head, smiling. "So can we make a date at my hotel room tonight. I miss you with my arms wrapped around you and your heart stopping smell of your cologne. I seriously can't get enough of that! You smell absolutely delicious right now!" She said.

"Ok. But only if I can sneak around to get to your room without getting caught." He said concerned.

"If you don't come to mine, I will come to yours! No getting out of this mister!" She said with a hungry smile.

Paul rolled his eyes. "Ok. Ok." He said looking into her eyes.

"Can I get a goodbye kiss before you go?" She asked.

"Why couldn't you!?" He said.

"The "taking it slow thing." She said rolling her eyes.

"Their's nothing we haven't did already. What I mean is nothing more than a kiss or cuddling and just sleeping in bed together. I'm not that dumb and I couldn't stop myself from being that far away from you." He said.

"Glad we got that cleared up. But when will I get to have more?" She said slyly.

"Once I'm comfortable with the fact that your here to stay and that Vince isn't going to interfere with us." He said.

"That will be never!" She said sad.

"it will happen Steph. Just takes time. We can just save some money and go where they will never find us and we can be a happy family. I know you can't live without them and I can't live without you. I don't want you to have to choose but you and I both know that is what's going to happen!" He said.

As much as Stephanie didn't want to admit it he was right. The only person in her entire family that approved of Paul was Shane. Shane saw who Paul really is. Stephanie resented the rest of her family because they couldn't see it for themselves. Shane has tried so hard to turn the tides but he always failed to have them see. The McMahon stubbornness is the worst that you will ever see! Stephanie started to think about all of the mean and hurtful comments that they said about him and even her. She started to bawl uncontrollably. Paul hugged her tight and he was confused. Just another mood swing for him. He was used to it by now. She was like this but now it was three times worse. How he ever got threw all of them, he will never know. "Women." He whispered to himself.

Paul swayed with her and slowly rubbed her back as he shushed her. "I shouldn't have said anything about your family." He said.

Stephanie nodded her head. "I just need you now." She cried.

Paul shushed her once more. "I will make sure that I come tonight! Now you go get ready for our little backstage segment. Then I will see you later at the next town. Once you check in call me and tell me the room number. Okay?" He said

"K. Now can I have that kiss. I really really need it now. Pweese?!" She said barely above a whisper.

"How can I say no to that?" He said.

Paul placed a lingering kiss on her lips. "Better now?" He asked.

Stephanie nodded her head eagerly.

A little while later, Stephanie was done for the night but Paul had another thing to do. She set off to the next town. She couldn't stop thinking about everything that was going on. At least tonight she had him to block all of the thoughts or at least some of them. She still couldn't believe of all people in her family, that her mom would be against it. Linda supported everything she did and I do mean everything. From sports to school to even friends and boys. Now not so much. Stephanie was stressed out. She couldn't help it but she tried to relax but then her mind started to race and then she was right back to square one again. She started to imagine a life without her family. It hurt but she could be with Paul no matter what. Then she started to imagine the other way around. It hurt even more. The decision would be tough but at least she had some time to think more. But not a lot. For heaven sakes they don't even know that she is pregnant. She even hasn't told Shane yet. She knew that she could trust him but Paul was more important. She doubted Shane a little though. Maybe they will only know about this baby and could they continue hiding to save money to get away. Maybe just maybe Stephanie could convince Paul and his parents to reconcile. All of these maybes made her tear up as parked the rental car and made her way to the hotel lobby and then to the counter. She immediately went to her room. Her mind started to race more. She started to cry once more as she went to the bed and cuddled a pillow. She picked up her phone and pulled up his contact and stared at it. She didn't want him worrying and she also didn't want him to hear her cry again. Fighting with herself, she made the right choice to hit the send button. She waited as she was sniffling and at least trying to pull herself together. She was relieved when he answered. "Hey baby! I'll be there in about five to ten minutes!" He said.

"Ok." She said sniffing.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, why do you ask?" She said trying to hide the quiver in her voice.

"You can't hide anything from me. You know that. Now spill it." He said.

"My mind is just, I don't know." She said.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything!" He said.

"Actually I'm glad you did. Got me thinking and got me crying." She said.

"Well if you don't already know this but I don't like to see or hear you cry. I'm stepping on it to get there a little faster!" He said.

"Paul I'm fine really! Don't get into a wreck because of me. I'm not that important." She said.

He started to stamper. "I can't believe you just said that! You don't even know how much! You're not fine. I know that you're beyond stressed and it's because of me. I wish that we had a better life. Where we have our parents support us, but they don't even give a crap! I wish that we can live a happy life. Some days I think that you would be better off without me. I mean you wouldn't have all of this stress and you can have your family. You would be happy then." He said choking up.

"I'm happy with you. Of course I'd love to have my family but not without you. Since out parents don't support us, we'll support each other." She said.

"Yeah..." He said ad he sighed.

"Just hurry up and be careful!" She said.

"I'm just seconds away." He said.

She told him the room number. He knocked and she immediately jumped into his arms. "Now I'm in heaven!" She said.

Paul lent down and kissed her. Stephanie dragged him over to the bed and pushed him over then ran to the other side and settled into his arms. They laid and talked as Paul rubbed her stomach, connecting with their child. Even though she was almost five months along, she had just started to show. Everyone told her that she was lucky and that it was normal for first time pregnancies but she didn't believe it. All she could do was look at him with the most loving look she has ever given him and smiled as wide as she could. She nuzzled into him more. "This is the perfect moment!" She said.

He pecked her lips. "You don't even know how much I love you right now." He said.

"Yes I do. I can see it on your face." She said.

"My face only shows only half of it. My mind says it all!" He said.

She started to kiss him passionately. He started to move with her but he had to stop. He stopped her and he hated every second of it. "I can't lose control. Slow and steady Steph. Slow and steady." He said.

Stephanie was a little mad. She rolled out of his embrace and started to drift off into sleep. "I'm sorry! I still love you!" He said.

"You won't when I look like a whale." She said.

He rolled her over to face him. "You will look beautiful no matter what! You have that glow that they talk about. I don't want to take my eyes off of you." He said.

"Well that "glow" is just sweat. I'm hot then I'm cold and it's an on going cycle." She said.

He shook his head at her and kissed her once more. "I'm here no matter what, remember that!" He said.

"Only when you want to be. Sometimes I have to force you to do this." She said.

"That was only once. And I have proved to you that I am here for you many times in the past so don't you dare you that against me again." He said a little annoyed.

"I just worry that you are going to leave me for what I did or what I was forced to do. I know you resent me for that! I know that you'll never forgive me." She said with tears in her eyes.

"Steph, how many times do I have to say it!? I love you and I'll never leave your side. I know that you didn't do it on purpose! You never have to worry!" He said.

He pulled her closer and heard her start to cry even though he tried to reassure her. "Stop thinking about the bad. It's not good for anyone. Especially you and the baby! You got me!" He said.

She kept crying. Her mind couldn't stop. He started to rub her back as the baby kept moving inside her that only she could feel. That made her mind stop racing. She had made up her mind with the the help of them and there was nothing changing it, especially with her McMahon stubbornness. Paul meant the world to her. Screw her family. If they didn't want to be apart of their lives then so be it. "You're all I need!" She whispered to him.

He smiled and kissed her hair. "Do you think that your parents want to be in our lifes?" She asked.

"Hell no! And they will never see their grandchildren if I have anything to say to it. Same with your parents! As I've said before they don't care about our feelings. All they care about is themselves!" He said.

"it's us against the world! And we are going to concur them all! We are strong! We can make it! I just know it!" She said.

"Now that's the spirit!" He said.

"I love you!" She said.

"I love you too!" He said as he kissed her.

They fell asleep in each others arms. The baby kept moving, which soothed her to sleep, knowing that they will be a family helped everything. They were about to go on a journey together and basically drop off of the face of the earth, just got to save some money. Besides nobody cares about them anymore, except each other. That's all they needed.


End file.
